5/21/2011

Great Writers are essentially Great Bloggers

 Though not necessarily vice versa.

After eating a few too many no-bake cookies, and then combating the guilt with a few sun salutations, I’ve come to the realization that the special combination of sugar and stretching is almost as stimulating in a creative sense as standing in a hot shower.  Consequently, I began to wonder what would happen if I were to strip down, eat chocolate, and sit in lotus pose while letting the soothing warm water pour over my head. The three combined would undoubtedly form a holy triquetra of inspiring thoughts.  However, I am in no way recommending that you perform a downward facing dog pose in the confines of your bathtub the next time you run out of ideas for your latest novel. Too much of a good thing, you know?

And while within my sugar-induced hyperactive state, I also began to wonder what would have happened if the great writers of the past were still writing today. What kind of language would they use? How popular would they be in a society where people skim instead of read? As I moved from my warrior pose to an invigorating plank pose, the answer struck me as obvious.
They would blog.
Hypothetically speaking, Edgar Allan Poe would be a MySpace user. With his dark hair, dark clothes, and a poetic fixation on death, our young teenage E. Allan here would be an emo trying to impress his girlfriend. Though with the rise of Facebook and Twitter, Myspace is becoming a little dated, but I’m sure he’d gather quite a loyal following of fan-girls despite all odds. He would then link to his blog, and update it every week or so with his latest work, and secretly enjoy the attention of all his Internet admirers.
Charles Dickens would have his own Facebook profile, and his friends’ list would contain a great number of individuals whom he happened to meet on the street. For inspiration, I’m certain he’d pick up a disposable camera and walk around the slums of the city and take pictures of shoes hanging over a telephone wire, or perhaps eat at a dingy local restaurant solely for the atmosphere. He’d then post his art on Facebook, link it back to his blog, where he’d then discuss politics and how even in the worst of times, he could find the best of deals that would fit within his college budget.  His graduating thesis would be passed around by professors and deans to be read aloud to future students.
Now at this point in my precarious plank pose, my arms gave out.  Just because I occasionally do yoga in my bedroom doesn’t mean I’m any good at it.  So instead I decided to lie on the floor and continue my brainstorming from there. Oh look, I’m already in dead man pose.
Such a train of thought reminded me of a collection of writings by Washington Irving that I read not too long ago. At the time, the following quote from Salmagundi struck me as humorous and I forged through my reading like a good little librarian.

I am particularly attentive to the manners and conversation of strangers, and scarcely ever a traveler enters this city whose appearance promises anything original, but by some means or another I form an acquaintance with him [. . .] my curiosity is punished by the stupid details of a blockhead.
Now if that doesn’t sound like a Twitter-er, then I need to stop reading rage comics and get back into those series of tubes we call the Internet and become reacquainted with these new fangled ways of stalking people.  From my everyday observances, it would seem as though a great majority of status updates consist of the stupid details of a blockhead, as Irving so aptly described it.  Like a conspiracy theorist twisting facts to suit theories, I can easily imagine that he’d have no problem fitting in this hypothetical world where he’d use a mixture of all three, blogging and poking fun at the idiocies of human nature to his heart’s content.  Perhaps he’d even write an excellent parody on the Twilight series.
But what do I know?
I’m just a blogger.
Now would probably be a good time to pick myself off the floor and start writing something solid. There are a few ideas still bouncing around in my head from when I showered this morning that I have yet to delve into. But perhaps I’ll check my Facebook first.  

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What I'm Doing These Days

  • Designing another blog layout
  • Job Hunting
  • Listening to "The Weepies"
  • Reading "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Other Writings" by Washington Irving
  • Researching 3D rendering software
  • Working on my novel's first draft